Mike and Frankie must decide whether to attend Axl's football game or Sue's first cross-country meet; after raking the yard, Brick wants to set the leaves free in the forest.
While shopping for baby diapers for Sue, who has run out of them on a baby-sitting job, Frankie is completely humiliated when a clerk assumes she's shopping for adult diapers. Meanwhile, after getting on Mike's case to get a physical exam because she thinks men tend to fall apart faster than women as they age, Frankie proceeds to throw out her back and hides it from Mike, who tells her he received a clean bill of health from the doctor; a clueless Sue falls for Axl's friend, Sean, who barely notices her existence; and Brick begins to test all of the age-old urban legends parents tell their kids - such as not to swallow a watermelon seed for fear one will grow in their belly - after discovering Frankie has used these white lies on him in the past.
When Axl is suspended for skipping school, Mike decides it's time to teach his son a lesson about life and makes him go to work with him at the quarry. But Mike's master plan backfires when Axl likes the job so much that he wants to quit school and lead the life of a quarryman. Meanwhile, Frankie is devastated when she fears that she accidentally prayed away Sue's cross-country team after it's cut by the school; and while practicing a magic trick, Brick makes the main TV remote disappear - and can't figure out how to make it reappear.
Against the family's wishes, Frankie invites a Japanese foreign exchange student to live with them, in the hopes of exposing him to American life; however, the Hecks get frustrated when he shows no interest in them or America.
Frankie is excited over being invited to an adult neighborhood Halloween party. But will she be able to get Mike to dress up in a costume, or will he have his own idea of fun? Meanwhile, a melancholy Sue's spirits are lifted when she discovers that Reverend TimTom is back in town and hosting a Halloween church event; things don't go quite as planned for Axl, his friends or their dates as they head out to an exclusive haunted house party; and Brick chooses a unique Halloween costume that is not easily defined.
Frankie and Mike are speechless when, on his ninth birthday, Brick demands to hear the true story about the day he was born, which has remained a mysterious Heck family secret. Meanwhile, Axl's new manager at the movie theater turns out to be a conundrum - hot and dumb - which leaves a confused Axl wondering if her hotness trumps her incompetence.
Mike begrudgingly invites his brother, Rusty, who is temporarily living in a tent, and his father, Big Mike, who has recently broken his hip, to join him for the annual Heck family Thanksgiving. But when Frankie observes the macho Heck men's non-communicative nature, she encourages a not-so-receptive Mike to engage them in a real conversation and express their feelings. Meanwhile, Brick is ecstatic when he discovers that Bob is bringing his girlfriend, Linda - the local librarian who loves books as much as Brick does - to Thanksgiving; and Sue wants to start a mother-daughter tradition of baking a pie for the holiday, but ends up getting more sliced up than the crust.
While Frankie's parents Tag and Pat visit for Christmas, Mike is less than thrilled. To make matters worse, the Hecks have a disagreement with them over Frankie's idea on how to celebrate the holiday without exchanging presents
After years of being at their kids' beck-and-call and never having time for themselves, Frankie and Mike decide to take charge of their lives and regain control over the Heck household. But Axl, Sue and Brick don't plan on going down without a fight.
Mike freezes Frankie out because he can't fathom how she inadvertently paid $200 for a small bottle of eye cream that she thought was priced at $20.
Meanwhile, Axl's fathering techniques are put to the test when he has to take care of a mechanical infant doll for health class, and Sue and Brick desperately search for a way to fix a hole that they caused in Sue's bedroom wall.
As the Super Bowl approaches, Mike is thrilled when Brick takes his advice and studies up on football in order to understand and talk the sport. But Axl thinks his little brother is taking over his turf by being Mike's football buddy - a position Axl used to cherish. Meanwhile, Frankie thinks her professional career is looking up when Mr. Ehlert chooses her to accompany him to a managerial seminar, and ex-boyfriend Brad asks Sue to be his dance partner for the school's annual Square Dancing with the Stars.
Axl has a new girlfriend he wants to impress on Valentine's Day, while Brick has a crush on a fellow student and Mike accidentally lets the news slip out, humiliating his shy son. Elsewhere, Sue searches for a boy she kissed on a Halloween hayride.
Frankie looks for a friend for Brick; Sue sneaks into an R-rated movie against Mike's wishes; and Axl and his band need a hot female for their music video and try to get stealth footage of their sexy biology teacher.
Frankie once again goes head to head with Brick's third grade teacher, Ms. Rinsky, when Brick gets a D on his math test and Frankie thinks poor teaching skills are to blame. But Frankie wonders whether or not she can make the grade when Ms. Rinsky requires that she and Mike attend a class to test their own math skills. Meanwhile, while begrudgingly watching over their crusty, old aunts, Axl and Sue mull over a plan to accompany Aunt Edie on a search for a time capsule she buried when she was young.
Max punishes Axl by forbidding him from playing in the last basketball game of the season. Meanwhile, Brick begins wearing his cousins hand-me-downs, and Sue wins a trophy.
Frankie gets swept up in the excitement of the upcoming royal wedding. Meanwhile, Mike has to make a few layoffs at the quarry, and Brick helps Sue with her audition for the school news team.
After learning that Axl text-invited the wrong girl to prom and plans to solve the situation by standing her up, Frankie and Mike demand that he meet the girl face-to-face in a timely manner to gently break off the date - or face the music and take her to the big event. Meanwhile, Sue and her friend, Carly, try in earnest to fit in with the school's "B" crowd during lunch, and after a successful first show, Brick begins to bore Frankie and Mike with his impromptu one-man plays.
Frankie and Mike attempt to cure Brick of his irrational fear of crossing over bridges. Meanwhile, Axl is pitted against nemesis Sean Donahue when a lifeguard position opens up at the local public pool, and Frankie is ready to pull her hair out when she tries to help an indecisive and emotional Sue pick out a two-piece bathing suit to wear on the pool's opening day.
With only three days left until summer vacation, Frankie is ecstatic that she's made it through another school year with the family. But her happiness turns to panic when she and Mike learn that Brick needs to write a daily journal and turn it in to Ms. Rinsky or risk not moving up to the fourth grade; that Axl hasn't fulfilled his required 30 days of community service; and that, because of an error, Sue must prove that she never took a sick day from school in order to receive a perfect attendance award at her middle school graduation ceremony.